Our take on Long Distance Relationships
Long distance relationships are assumed to be nothing more than what the cliché quotes and Instagram posts tell you, but as someone trying to work through a 5-hour flight and a 2.5-hour time difference, I can assure you that there is a lot more to it. Long distance relationships can be exhausting, even frustrating at times and probably one of the biggest reasons for a messed-up-sleep and work schedule. However, they are also one of the purest forms of a relationship that really puts things in perspective.
When you’re in a long distance relationship, you’re not just committing to liking and wanting to be with your significant other; you’re committing to staying loyal. You’re committing to not only know your physical boundaries with others, you’re committing to still feel the same affection even if you both haven’t spoken for days, you’re committing to wait until the end of the semester to see them again and to be excited to pick them up at the airport every time.
Evidently, a long distance can be considered as a huge commitment especially when you’re still in university. You barely know what you want to major in, and much less your further thought out, how do you decide the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? What if you do decide to commit but backfires after a huge conflict? What if it just does not work out? How then does one cope with an emotional breakdown in the middle of the semester? Admittedly, the whole concept can be really daunting and the ‘what ifs’ seem endless.
However, I still advocate for the fact that you should believe in long-distance relationships. There is no simple way to explain why – you just know. Nonetheless, the debate between the rational mind and the hopelessly romantic heart can be tiresome, so here’s a three-step guide that hopefully helps you believe:
1 // Knowing if it is the right person
Being in a long-distance relationship is very different from a normal one; the right person should not just be someone who makes you laugh and keeps you happy, but it is also someone you can trust and someone you can count on to support you, even if they may not fully understand what you’re going through.
2 // Knowing if it is for the long haul
You can be really happy with someone and have a perfect relationship but for a commitment this substantial, it is important to know if it is meant to last. Truth be told, not every relationship is. However, if you do see yourself with that one person even 5 years down the line, it is worth a shot because that feeling is rarer than you would imagine.
3 // Knowing if you have the courage for this commitment
Honestly, half the negativity around long-distance relationships comes from this fear that develops in our heads from over-thinking and over-analysing situations. In my opinion, if you have even given this a thought, it means you do see your relationship going somewhere. If you have managed to have even one conversation with your partner about it that did not end up with an immediate break-up, it is probably going to work out. So even if for a split second you think it will, don’t let yourself second-guess that instinct.
If you have decided to commit, as tough as it might get, it won’t seem as much as a task with the right person. I would suggest you to not look for reasons to believe, but reasons to convince you. And if your mind starts thinking of ways to counter those arguments immediately, it means you’re ready.