Dating App Review: Tinder
Credit: Infinity Leap
I joined the Tinder bandwagon after my breakup last year. Before that, I had always been skeptical of using Tinder because it has a seedy reputation. A few of my friends warned me that it was full with people looking for hookups or friends with benefits. However, after recovering from my breakup, I decided that there was no harm in giving it a shot.
After almost a year on Tinder, I have managed to dodge the bullet when it comes to meeting such guys. The moment a guy makes his actual intentions clear, I would immediately unmatch him or stop replying his messages. To further filter such unwanted attention, I state explicitly in my biography that I am looking for a proper relationship.
However, this isn’t completely fool-proof because I still continue to receive messages asking for one-night stands. Occasionally, a guy would message me and tell me that I am extremely naïve for thinking that I would meet the right guy on Tinder because in one guy’s words, “Tinder is crawling with creeps”.
But I would retort and tell them that there is nothing wrong with getting to know more people. Online dating is an extremely tricky business and although I have not met my Mr Right, I have made two guy friends whom I trust enough to share my secrets with.
My tips for using Tinder are:
1) To always remember that Tinder’s interface is rather superficial
Most of the time, I would swipe right on a guy if I find him physically attractive and his biography states that he is looking for a relationship. Based on (unofficial) interviews that I had with friends and the guys I message on Tinder, women are usually more careful with their right swipes (Tinder has a limit on the number of people you can swipe right on) while men don’t really bother and swipe right most of the time.
Thus, if you would like to reduce your chances of meeting unsavoury characters, be wiser with your swipes. I would only go on dates if I feel comfortable with the guy.
2) Do not feel bad unmatching a person or lose confidence if you get unmatched
One of Tinder’s unique features is that you can always unmatch the person instead of blocking him/her. But once you unmatch someone, the messages that you have previously exchanged are gone. When I first started out on Tinder, a guy I had a great conversation with suddenly unmatched me. He had even asked me out on a date. It made me question myself: Was I not interesting enough? Was I not pretty? Was he making a fool out of me?
Well, I realised later how wrong I was. I should never have based my self-esteem on the amount of matches I get or the number of messages I receive. I should not even put myself down just because someone unmatches me. Think about it – would this person’s actions matter weeks down the road? Always remember that you hold so much more worth than that!
3) Always check if the person you are going to swipe right on is in a relationship
You must be thinking, “What? There are people in relationships on Tinder?!”
Unfortunately, yes :(
I have swiped left on so many guys the moment I see that they are married (some with children! Yikes!) or in a relationship. And that is why I have trust issues. Why would you even be on Tinder if you are attached? Some claim that they are on the app to make friends, which to me, is a lame excuse. Tinder is a dating app. True, I have made friends through it but I only do that when I have checked that they are single. My main purpose is to meet a partner there, so why would I want to make friends with someone whose relationship status is already a no-go?
Also, how would their significant other feel when he/she finds out they are on Tinder? Unless one is in a non-monogamous relationship (no judgement here), he or she should never be on any dating app.
Credit: Elite Daily
There are apps created specially for people who are looking only to expand their network, so they should try signing up for those apps instead and leave Tinder alone for the singles.
All in all, my experience on Tinder has so far been rather positive. I have been on quite a number of dates though I have yet to romantically click with anyone. I would definitely recommend Tinder to anyone who is open to online dating and is okay with the superficial interface.
One of Tinder’s new functions chooses your most popular photo to show first, so make sure that it is a good photo! Also, I noticed that Tinder’s algorithms track the kind of people you frequently swipe right on and would recommend other similar people. So, if there is a type that you like, swipe right on them more often.
Credit: Lauren Parker
May the next match change your single status! :)